Sunday, August 24, 2008

tears of saddness & joy

To perceive is to suffer.
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)

This weekend I went to my 40th Nursing school reunion- a good time was had by all. We laughed and cried together.

I packed up the very last of the things of the house and said a tearful good-bye! As I looked around the house(by myself), I remembered many of the things which happened there. Ambivalence growing in my heart about selling the house altogether! I looked about the yard/garden and said- those were my moms rose bushes, I have bulbs from her and also from my grandmother in this yard. How can I leave them behind? It's like leaving a piece of me behind! BUT my hubby and daughter await my arrival in Florida.

I drove yet again down I95, and even took pictures of the traffic to remind myself I won't miss I95. The traffic was unusually heavy this weekend. Bumper to bumper going both ways the entire stretch of Delaware!

I arrived at #2 daughters and the floodgates opened! How am I gonna say good-bye even for awhile to my cherished grandchildren and daughter on Thursday? I know they will all be ok without me hovering over them, but they are my babies.

When the kiddos arrived from their dads we hugged and hugged! The girls have been away for only 2 weeks. I then called my hubby and I just haven't been able to stop crying! The 5 year old bless his heart, came in and said what's wrong gran ma? I'm gonna lock your door, you look like you need some 'alone time'. The granddaughters knocked on the door too, asking whats wrong grandma? Why are you crying! I just couldn't answer. Dau#2 explained it to them.

This weekend has been quite a tearful time! I see long time friends and said good-byes, I said good-bye to my home of over 30 years, and have come to the realization SOON I will be saying good-bye to my grands & dau. To start a new season in my life. I will get threw it but no one said it was gonna be easy!

Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.
Edgar Allan Poe (1809 - 1849)

4 comments:

Kate said...

having just said goodbye to all my family and friends (and the mountains of tennessee) to return to scotland, not knowing when i will next be back in the states, i can well imagine how difficult it must be to leave a house you've lived in for so long, and friends you've cherished. not to mention moving far away from your amazing family. change is so hard, but also necessary, and i'm sure you're doing the right thing and will love the next stage of your life. it's ok to mourn the end of an era though!! i'm thinking of you and praying for peace for you.

mommanator said...

Thanks Kate, is your vaca over already!

et said...

I popped over from Joe's blog to see what you were "letting" go! You almost made me cry. At times, parting can be quite painful.

Have a safe trip home to Florida.

Virginia Gal said...

Crying during change is hard, I have a VERY tough time of it.

Please know I am here sending you happy thoughts : )